Conversation Starters – What Are Good Conversation Starters for a First Date?

Attractive young woman on romantic date with her sweetheartThe first date can be one of the most exciting but nerve-racking experiences. A good first date can be exhilarating with a range of emotions from anxiousness to joy. First dates can be fraught with a number of problems if you are unprepared. One of the best ways to prepare for a first date is by knowing how to keep and hold a good conversation.

There are three important skills to be good at first date conversation.


  • Be able to start a good conversation
  • Be able to continue a good conversation
  • Be able to transition from one to the next good conversation


Be able to start a good conversation

In this article we will focus on how to start a good conversation. We will write in the future about how to continue a good conversation and how to transition between good conversation topics.

Find common ground

The first key to starting a good conversation is to find common ground. Unless your first date is a blind date you should have a good understanding of his basic interests. Did you meet at work? You know something of his professional background and his achievements. Don’t talk about work but it would be fine ask him how he got to where he’s at in life. Ask about his education and his experiences. The key is not to spend too long dwelling on the boring parts of his education or the unexciting career experiences he has had. Focus on his best achievements in school or his most rewarding times at work. Draw out those things he’s most proud and excited about. During these first conversations look for other areas of common ground and ask questions to transition to those topics. Continue to search for common ground throughout the first date and you will find it.

Pick up on his signals

As you have these conversations during your first day look for his signals about what he is most excited about. Is he most animated and talking fastest while he discusses his days in college? This is a good sign his college experience was passionate and exciting for him. Ask more questions and try to find out why that is. People love to talk about the “why” much more than the “what” of their experiences. The “why” will tell you much more about the person than the “what”. What type of questions does he ask you? This will tell you what he’s interested in. If his questions all revolve around sports and athletics you can be sure he is interested in those topics. If his questions all revolve around video games and TV shows that will tell you what he likes best. If he doesn’t ask you any questions that should tell you something. Time to move on if he’s not asking you any questions on a date, he’s not interested.

Understand him better from small hints

Be on the lookout for small hints and signals about what he’s interested in. Does he drive an SUV with the roof rack on top? He probably likes to bike, surf, or kayak. Is he sunburned after each weekend? He probably likes to be outdoors and active on the weekends.

If you are able to find common ground, pickup on his signals, and understand small hints you will be able to start killer conversation on your first date.

Jay is a student of the relationship between men and women. He’s focused on understanding what makes men and women draw closer and what forces them apart. His decade in this field has given him many interesting and unconventional insights. His two recent areas of interest have been first date tips and first date conversation secrets.

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